Monday, 1 November 2010

Me and Tom went to Flying Lotus

I'm looking forward to kanye touring and us going
Tom: yeah we're definitely there
should have seen him at hammersmith on the late registration tour
12:19 i can't wait for the new album
it's possibly going to be album of the year
me: standard
he's pretty GOOD
12:20 Tom: yeah
but the new album sounds like it could be his best
me: i'm excited!
new radiohead is out fairly soon too
Tom: yeah
not as exciting as the last radiohead album
"yeah, our album's out next week"
12:21 "give us whatever you fancy for it. cheers"
me: wonder how they'll release it this year?
Tom: probably scattered in recycling bins across the country or something
me: maybe they'll give it to only one lad and wait for him to disperse it to the people
via technology
12:22 Tom: haha
me: would be an interesting experiment
jus stick it on piratebay as something that looks fake and see what happens
Tom: i found a review of flying lotus's gig on some blog
on the blurb underneath the link it says
Flying Lotus beamed down into London's Koko recently but did he leave the crowd begging for more of his grimy space beats?
then in the review it says
12:23 Flying Lotus beamed down into London's Koko on Tuesday October 26th and, after waving goodnight with a sparkling grin, left the capacity crowd begging for more of his grimy space beats.
me: lol
class writing that
shame no-one real reviewed it
Tom: great Q&A there
this is a quote from the review
"He's rather self-indulgent, isn't he," suggested Kirsty, a stunning brunette groover who had not before heard Flylo's beats.
12:24 STUNNING BRUNETTE GROOVER?!
me: ha
ie his girlfriend
Tom: she's made up!
it's just what he wanted to say himself but didn't want to loose indie cred
"a voluptuous vixen named sophia rubbed herself up against me during that track what thom yorke's on"
me: oh god
link me
Tom: no i made that bit up
me: thank christ
12:26 Tom: i'm going to write reviews of gigs i've been to and pretend loads of fit girls wanted to grind with me throughout
rather than my usual experience of being pissed off with everybody inside the gig who isn't me
12:27 me: lol
you should do reviews
you go to enough stuff
and have nothing better to do
12:28 Tom: i hate them though
'yeah, so i went to a gig. it was alright. i liked the famous songs'
'yeah so i went to a gig. it was a bit shit because they only played famous songs'
12:29 me: i like it when you work yourself up
Tom: haha
like with the xfm list
me: i do it on the overground sometimes
whenever someone comes near me i get super vexed
Tom: yeah, i want to murder anyone who so much as glances at my feet on the tube
WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH MY FEET?
12:30 me: lol
do people do that?i'm not sure they do
Tom: yeah, i have sexy feet
me: ok...
12:31 Tom: i like travelling with girls because people look at the girls more than me
that's what happens
i'm reading over the gchat about the xfm list and laughing
me: haha i'll stick it on trowel later
12:32 Tom: nah, it's a bit lame
it's just a 'lol, shit list' chat
me: i love those chats
12:33 Tom: if you do put it up, remove all the 'haha's and 'lol's
there are far too many
me: i will
Tom: but it's because i was actuloling throughout
me: i'm a shrewd editor
yeah me too
had to leave the room to compose myself
12:35 Tom: actually, don't put the chat up
or this one

VERDICT:

NEW ALBUM by RADIOHEAD: PROBABALY GOOD

12 Biffy Clyro Songs?!

Tom: http://www.xfm.co.uk/news/2010/the-top-1000-songs-of-all-time-ab
15:00 me: lol xfm
Tom: SIXTEEN kings of leon songs!
15:01 me: Blink 182 What's My Age Again
Tom: 3 songs by the enemy
me: 12 Biffy clyro songs
Tom: Mumford & Sons Winter Winds
Mumford & Sons The Cave
Mumford And Sons Little Lion Man
15:02 me: 12 BIFFY CLYRO
Tom: haha
mon the biffy!
it's literally just their playlist isn't it?
that's how it was decided
me: yeah
i like the 10 charlatans songs
15:03 Tom: yeah
15:04 wires by athlete
FUCKING WIRES BY ATHLETE
me: 12 manics songs
lol
15:05 Tom: Sum 41 Fat Lip
Sum 41 In Too Deep
me: in too deep is a great song
15:06 Tom: no
no it isn't
me: nice - 1 pavement song
which happens to be the first track on the best of
Tom: yup
15:07 not a single dylan song
but there are 8 razorlight songs
eight razorlight songs!
and i like razorlight too
me: only 1 radiohead song from post-ok computer
15:09 Tom: hang on, there are 2 post-ok computer songs
jigsaw and there there
still odd though, especially with anyone can play guitar
anyway, the absolutely worst thing about the list is that ITS A FUCKING BOOK
they actually think its worth printing!
a book that says wires by athlete is in the top 1000 songs of all time
me: lol
15:10 i like the way that the 1000 best songs of all time seem to come from around 80 artists
Tom: haha yeah
oasis and stone roses have about 200 each
15:11 me: they've literally just picked a decent album and stuck 3 tracks off it on
then stopped when they hit 1000
The Stone Roses Sally Cinnamon
really?
Tom: nah, great song
not going to nitpick with that one
15:12 but FUCKING WIRES BY ATHLETE!
that's not in the top 50 billion songs ever made
me: lol
i dispute The Beatles Here Comes The Sun making the list
Tom: dani california
15:13 me: at the expense of other beatles songs
like most of the others
Tom: there's more oasis than beatles
sigh
Florence And The Machine Kiss With A Fist
Florence And The Machine Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)
Florence And The Machine Dog Days Are Over
Florence And The Machine Drumming Song
Florence And The Machine You Got The Love
me: there's as much biffy clyro as the beatles
15:14 Tom: (i actually quite like biffy clyro)
me: more u2 than the beatles
uncluding City of Blinding Lights
the worst song ever
Tom: haha
15:15 13 arctic monkeys songs
now, i like the monkeys a lot
but that's more than 3 times as many joy division songs
which is just perverse
15:16 me: Neil Young Rockin In The Free World
Tom: great song
me: i hate the tokenism
it's like 'we should have neil young on this list'
'yeah but what did he do?'
Tom: haha
15:17 1 neil young song followed by 3 zutons songs is quite funny
me: The Zutons You Will You Won't
ha
great minds
i like the whole albums they've just stuck on
15:18 The Wombats Moving To New York
Tom: hahaha
me: fuck sake
Tom: there's more than one wombats song
MORE THAN ONE WOMBATS SONG
in the top 1000 songs of all time!
15:19 absolutely no hip hop apart from jump around by house of pain
me: hahahaha
15:20 Tom: they've just put up every coldplay single, ever!
have some fucking quality control!
gahh!
15:21 me: was it really necessary to have 12 biffy clyro songs?
Tom: haha
me: The Bluetones Slight Return
oh. dear.
Tom: Ceasars Jerk It Out
me: they are literally the worst band ever
15:22 Tom: haha they are pretty shit
NO FUCKING FLYING LOTUS EITHER
:outraged:
me: god
every blur single
standard
Tom: yeah
15:23 the only patti smith song is a springsteen song (although it is brilliant)
me: i like the almost apologetic font it's printed in
Tom: NO SPRINGSTEEN!
hahaha
me: the good songs are hiding between enormous wedges of kaiser chiefsOh dear the 'foreward' is written by brandon flowers
Tom: hahaha
that explains all the killers songs
15:25 me: god 2 courteeners songs
Tom: "End all those pub arguments about music with The Xfm Top 1000 Songs Of All Time"
yes, end all debate about music, we've decided wires by athlete is one of the top 1000 songs of all time
15:26 not that music's subjective or nuffink, but i reckon this book ENDS EVERY ARGUMENT ABOUT MUSIC EVER
15:27 me: i agree
i think 2 songs by Dodgy easily outshine dylan's back catalogue
Tom: haha
Each entry contains a short explanation of why the song in question is so brilliant
i do want to read all the green day entries
15:28 all their songs are so different, i'm sure each piece offers a different insight
i'm close to forgiving this list because of The Teardrop Explodes Reward
but then i remember wires by athlete and i want to smash things
me: lol
u really hate athlete
15:29 Tom: haha i don't actually mind them
this is actually a bigger fail: Stereophonics Dakota
Stereophonics Local Boy In The Photograph
Stereophonics A Thousand Trees
Stereophonics Bartender And The Thief
Stereophonics Maybe Tomorrow
Stereophonics Just Looking
Stereophonics Mr Writer
Stereophonics Have A Nice Day
Stereophonics Traffic
Stereophonics Pick A Part That'ss New
Stereophonics Hurry Up And Wait
Stereophonics Step On My Old Size Nines
Stereophonics I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio
HAVE A NICE DAY?!?!?!?!
me: ha it's uplifting!
Tom: 2 shed seven songs
lulzers
foundations by kate nash
holy fuck
15:32 me: haha
good 4 keane songs too
great band
15:33 i'm glad 5 linkin park songs made it though
15:34 even if chop suey has been lamentably overlooked
Tom: tragic
toxicity should be there too
15:35 me: of course
and aerials
Tom: 1 kraftwerk vs 3 maccabees
there's something seriously rotten with this
me: if we sat down in a pub and played the 'what tracks would be on xfm's top 1000 of all time' game, i bet we'd guess 900 of them
15:36 only modest mouse song?
Tom: all we'd have to do is tune into xfm and write down every song that they play
me: standard - float on
did they even write anything else? WHO CARES!
Tom: haha
who the fuck are electronic?
i've never heard of them
15:37 me: how about massive attack?
oh yeah - Unfinished Sympathy
that's their song, isn't it?
kings of leon?
Tom: there's 2 MA songs
me: well you have to have fans there
15:38 and 15 others
Tom: haha
Liam Lynch United States of Whatever
good call xfm
that's probably in my top 10 songs ever actually
me: yeah i nodded my approval at that
and world in motion
15:39 Panic! At The Disco I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Pavement Gold Soundz
Tom: haha
me: just looks so sad next to eachother
Tom: stephen malkmus would be spinning in his grave
NO PARTY HARD BY ANDREW WK ON THE LIST
me: nah of course not
15:40 The Presidents of the United States of America
have a good 2
The Raconteurs Steady As She Goes wouldn't be in my top million
Tom: haha
me: may make my bottom 5 though
Tom: i'm listening to united states of whatever, i'd forgotten how good it was
me: ruts - babylon's burning
good shout
that would be in my 1000
Tom: yeah
no prince
but 3 bumford
15:42 me: Space Female of the Species
bit eccentric
no prince is a disgrace
lol starsailor - has anyone listened to them in 10 years?
Tom: 16 muse, fucking hell
haha
i remember them
15:43 me: they get 2 songs
Tom: daddy was an alcoholic
that was a shit song
me: Tenacious D Tribute
cos it's still REALLY FUNNY
Tom: haha
15:44 me: gah i give up
it's the worst list ever
Tom: and it's a fucking book!
the thing is, if it was called XFM's guide to the 2000s, it wouldn't be too bad
it's fairly representative of their airplay etc, and about 90% of it is from the last 10 years
but it's meant to be the best songs OF ALL TIME
15:46 so no prince, no dylan, no elvis... it's just bizarre
me: they ran out of space cos of all the biffy clyro
Tom: hahaha
there is an extreme amount of biffy clyro
15:48 me: i like the way the editor didn't think to say 'lads, you know i love biffy clyro as much as the next man, but maybe 12 is a little steep'
'make it 11 + kiss by prince'
Tom: 'and while we're at it...who picked wires by athlete? yeah, hi there. here's your p45. all the best'
15:49 me: maybe they gave each staff member a choice of their favourite 12
and one of them was biffy clyro
Tom: haha
15:50 i'm genuinely laughing
that's the only way to explain it
me: and one of them was a woman
hence the athlete, keane and starsailor
15:52 wait a minute - 3 my chemical romance songs?! how have we not rinsed that?!
Tom: this is the gift that keeps on giving, there's a new thing to be outraged about every time you look
like the verve - love is noise
and 3 MCR songs
me: laughing quite loadly now
15:53 Tom: me too
i'm at home though
so it's ok
fucking beverly hills by weezer?!
motherfuckers
me: nice
love weezer
Tom: so do i, but that's the worst song ever made
15:54 me: and 16 muse songs
each horrific in its own way
15:55 Moby Porcelain
lol why?
no one likes it
and it's not trendy
or even good
Tom: nah, it's a good song
i like it
me: hmm
Maximo Park Books From Boxes
15:56 nice to see the difficult 2nd album represented
15:57 Tom: our velocity
top tune that
me: The Killers Spaceman
oh dear
15:58 Tom: i don't even know it
me: it's so bad even the radio didn't play it
Tom: xfm must have done
15:59 me: i'd also question 8 songs by ash
Tom: yeah i just saw that
fucking ash
me: seeing as i hate every song by ash
Tom: girl from mars is a great song
16:00 2 black grape songs!
fucking hell
me: Blink 182 I Miss You tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunes
Tom: the blur entries are literally the tracklisting of 'the best of blur' from 2000
16:01 give or take maybe a couple
me: yeah
bowie tracks are the whole best of as well
16:02 Tom: yeah
and no station to station is criminal
me: Fall Out Boy Sugar We're Going Down
Fall Out Boy Dance Dance
Fall Out Boy This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race
Tom: AN HONEST MISTAKE BY THE BRAVERY?
me: lol i saw that
Tom: makes me upset inside
16:03 me: The Fratellis Whistle For The Choir
must be in the bottom 5 of this list
16:04 Hot Hot Heat Bandages
Tom: tuuuuuuune
me: goin fag to stop laughing
Tom: haha have fun
i'm going to go for a walk because i haven't left my house today

37 minutes
16:42 me: that was a long walk
not
16:43 Tom: i just went to the local library to take out some cds
i fucking love the library
let's go to the album chart show at koko next monday
dee lo, nadine from girls aloud and mcfly are all there
16:44 *cee lo
me: great
Tom: YEAH
i'll register anyway
16:45 me: lol fine
Tom: sure you don't want to go?
nadine from girls aloud!
so fit
me: meh
me: meh
16:50 Tom: balls
me: ed balls
Tom: ed's balls
me: SPAGHETTI MEATBALLS
16:51 Tom: APLHAPETTI SPAGHETTI
me: ALPHABEAT
16:52 Tom: i'm surprised they weren't in xfm's 1000 best songs of all time list
me: yeah, i'd expect at least 6 off the album
and a few b-sides
16:53 Tom: yeah, maybe a couple of unreleased live bootlegs
me: natch
they're better than the courteneers
Tom: i'm better than the courteeners
and i'm shit at music
16:54 me: you should really be better
if you made an album you could list your influences as 'most music'
Tom: i fucking love music, me
16:55 that's what i'd say in interviews
i'd actually be a better singer than the fella from mott the hoople
me: or lemmy
16:56 Tom: nah, being that gutteral is skillful
me: better than elvis costello
at least you sing out of your mouth
rather than nose and ears
16:57 Tom: my nose doesn't work and i'm quite deaf
probably why
me: works in your favour
prob why you like biffy clyro
16:58 Tom: yeah
i saw them for 2 quid once
they were good
even if every song just sounded like nirvana
me: shitvana
they should change their name to that
16:59 Tom: or nogooda
that;s a bit tenuous though
me: great name
that's your band name
Tom: cool
me: i'll do a dubpheus remix
Tom: lol
all my songs will be covers of hefner songs
17:00 me: and hasselhoff io hope
Tom: yeah why not
his version of hooked on a feeling is inspiring
me: uplifting
17:05 Tom: i've just realised that arsenal have a goalkeeper that has 8 letters in his name, only 1 of which is a vowel
me: who?
Tom: Szczesny
me: nice
Tom: bloody impossible to type too, i have to copy and paste every time
me: that's a good pub quiz question
17:06 Tom: no one would be able to spell it
me: true
half marks
Tom: howard marks
17:07 me: marx brothers
Tom: karl marx
me: karl kennedy
Tom: dead kennedys
17:08 me: deadmau5
Tom: chairman mao
17:09 me: echo and the bunny chairmen
Tom: nice
me: cheers
that was hard

VERDICT:

WIRES by ATHLETE: NOT SO GOOD